


Wordless Affection

by BlueRoseDream



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: A lot of implied content, Despite what the summary says this is sfw, Established Relationship, It’s not underage. Everyone is 20+, M/M, it is soft with a hint of spice, prose written in poetry format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23490346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRoseDream/pseuds/BlueRoseDream
Summary: Tamaki struggles to deal with his habit of wanting to softly bite Sougo while Sougo battles his inner desire to ask for more of it. After spending so much time trying to keep their desires in check, they soon find themselves meeting halfway.
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: Dear Butterfly: MEZZO" Exchange





	Wordless Affection

**Author's Note:**

> Happy TamaSou Day~ This is technically not a fic so much as it is a very long poem LOL I actually did two prompts but it focuses more on the biting than the tucking into bed prompt. I hope you enjoy it :)

_Hey, Souchan? Can I tell you a secret?  
_ _Well, I guess you can’t hear me since you’re asleep, huh?  
_ _Souchan, I ———-.  
_ _Sorry. I still can’t say it to your face.  
_ _Goodnight, Souchan._

* * *

[Words unsaid form into a habit.]

He would always linger a bit   
to savor the faint taste of bittersweet pudding—  
only to be met   
with the metallic taste of the spoon.

[It wasn’t enough,   
so he threw in candy to help curb the urge.]

Thick caramel spreads across his tongue   
as he chews slowly.

[There’s something else he wants.  
Something that is just within reach.]

He takes another piece of candy.

[Cinnamon flavored.   
It’s too spicy for his liking,   
and it doesn’t even taste like candy.]

He reaches for a different candy   
and stuffs the other one into his pocket for another day.

[It’s scary, isn’t it?  
Neither of them knew what it’s like to date,   
yet they wanted to try anyway.  
And it’s for that reason that he—]

Tamaki shook his head   
and looked back at Sougo’s sleeping figure.

“It’s fine like this.”

He could feel his heart beat loudly in his chest   
as he quietly knelt down beside his partner   
and held the hand that hung off the side of the bed…

Before leaving behind a chaste kiss followed by a soft bite—

To create a bond just light enough to remain unseen.

“I love you.”

* * *

He tries his best to keep it a secret.

Sougo is precious to him,   
and he fears the possibility of being rejected,   
so he does everything he can to restrain himself   
without making it too obvious.

But the feeling of his body   
being held against his own,  
and the brilliant smile he always gave   
whenever they did something he enjoyed…

It was irresistible.

Like a drug he couldn’t get enough of.

_It’s scary._

Just thinking about him being touched by other men   
sends his mind into overdrive   
as he is nearly blinded by jealousy.

He wanted him to stay by his side.   
More than anything else,   
he wanted to know   
that Sougo would never leave him alone.

Invisible marks.

He wanted to leave trails of small bites   
that were just enough for him to feel it.   
Even though they wouldn’t be visible,   
he wanted to engrave the memory of the act.

It has been three years since they met   
and eight months since they started dating,   
yet he could feel his love   
grow stronger and stronger   
with each passing day.

Actions are easy, but words are difficult.

So when actions aren’t an option,   
then how could he possibly find the right thing to say?

On the last day of the tenth month,   
he sees his partner sleeping peacefully   
on top of a mess of music scores.

His mouth curls into a smile   
as he carefully lifts him off the chair   
and carries him to bed.

He could do it today.  
There is no one at the dorm to see it.

No.   
He can’t.   
He shouldn’t.

He refuses to allow himself   
to continue doing this without him knowing.

Instead,   
he settles for a kiss on the cheek   
before returning to his room for the night.

The gum in his mouth had long lost its flavor,   
yet he didn’t seem to notice at all.

His lips still tingled   
from the soft sensation of Souchan’s cheek,   
and he couldn’t help but flush bright red   
at the thought of it.

* * *

Over time,  
they start to notice.

Jobs that required him to show off his body were normal,   
but he couldn’t say the same for his partner.

But then slowly but surely,   
that all began to change   
as people started to realize   
how beautiful Sougo truly is.

Slender,   
manicured hands   
lingered upon his partner’s shoulder   
as the model seductively   
placed her lips against his neck.

Tamaki could hear the sound of his crunching   
echoing loudly in his ears.

_Stop it._

He knew it wasn’t her fault   
nor was it Sougo’s,   
but the way they would lay their hands  
on his boyfriend like that   
drove him completely  
and utterly  
insane.

_Don’t touch him._

Tamaki finds himself   
trying to sneak in a little more than what's allowed   
but is turned down every single time. 

They were in public,   
and they are idols.   
A scandal like this  
would only make it harder for them  
to hide their relationship.

 _“It’s okay, Tamaki-kun.  
_ _It doesn’t mean anything.”_

He knows that all too well,   
but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.

But he promised that he would be good. 

He wanted to make the relationship work.

So he took every chance he was given   
to hold him for just a moment longer.

Even if they couldn’t be open about their relationship,   
those private moments belonged to them and no one else.

But it wasn’t enough.

* * *

He knew he couldn’t go on like this.

The longer he tried to hold back,   
the more he wanted to hold him just a little while longer.

Even if it’s only for a few minutes,   
he would be okay.

Tamaki has never been good with secrets.

* * *

In order to establish trust between them,  
Sougo only had a single rule.

 _If you decide to tell someone,  
_ _then please make sure they’re trustworthy._

Tamaki knew he wanted to say more,   
but he wanted to have faith in him   
even though he was scared.

Tamaki didn’t like the idea of hiding from IDOLiSH7,  
and Iori is his best friend.

At the very least,  
he wanted to tell him.

So he did.

* * *

_When did it all start?_

It was a question he expected but didn’t have the answer to.

[A night of drunken antics  
lead to a lighthearted experiment  
that he couldn’t get enough of.]

He remembered Souchan’s cheerful laughter  
echoing in his ears  
as he held out a spoonful of his favorite pudding.

_“Sorry, Taa-kun. I spilled it a little.”_

Tamaki never liked being treated like a child, but he knew that it couldn’t be helped.

It wasn’t like he was aware of it after all.

Maybe it was the smell of alcohol  
or the strange feeling in his chest,  
but he found himself drawing close to the spoon  
to savor the deliciously bittersweet taste  
sliding down his throat.

Down, down, down…

Within his foggy memories,   
he could still recall the feeling of his wrist against his lips.  
Not even a centimeter away from his teeth.

 _I don’t understand.  
_ _It’s weird.  
_ _But I can’t help it._

* * *

It was no surprise to him that Iori couldn’t help him,  
but he felt more at ease nonetheless.

And yet,  
it didn’t change the fact that he was still lost.

_Talk to him._

Those were the words Iori had given him,   
yet it wasn’t that simple.

Regardless of their relationship,  
Tamaki knew better than anyone else  
about the line that was drawn in the sand.

 _Work is work. Private is private.  
_ _As idols, we are not allowed to forget that._

Even though he wanted to tell the world   
that he loves him.

Why is it so difficult?  
Speaking his mind has never been a problem up until now.  
So what changed?  
How much affection can he hold within him  
before it all starts spilling out?

He wished that someone could give him the answer,  
but in the end,  
only Sougo could.

* * *

_In the background, a familiar face takes the cassette tape and changes it to show “Side B”.  
_ _There is still one more story left to be told._

* * *

At first, he thought  
that he was in a dream.  
A dream where he was being touched   
ever so gently  
as if they were holding on   
to someone who would soon disappear.

The second time   
he thought it was an illusion.  
The slight pressure that would press  
into his skin like an iron   
just lightly enough for him   
to make out a silhouette.

By the third time, he knew   
that someone was there   
by the comforting warmth   
of their breath against his skin.

But it wasn’t until a few more times had passed   
that he finally realized   
that there was meaning   
behind those little touches.

Every fleeting kiss   
would transition into air   
that tickled his veins   
as something different   
slowly and carefully   
sunk into him.

And in every single one   
of his so called dreams,   
he would see Tamaki   
holding him close   
as he covered his body   
in little “I love you”s.

Anything more would’ve been forbidden.  
Sougo knew that better than anyone else.

* * *

Over time, the act became less frequent.

The kisses remain a constant source of bliss,  
but the loss of that feeling against his skin   
leaves him feeling empty.

With each passing moment,   
he finds himself desiring it   
more and more   
until his mind and heart fell into disarray.

Yet he still finds himself   
at a loss for words   
that could properly convey   
these jumbled up emotions.

* * *

If only he could just be honest

If only he could wear his heart on his sleeve,   
the same way Tamaki always does.

But he wanted this.  
He wanted to become a musician.  
And at the same time,   
he wanted Tamaki’s heart too.

He hated it.  
He hated seeing the way people looked at him   
with those eyes that wanted him.

But unlike his partner,   
he wasn’t willing to let it show.

* * *

_This much is okay, right?_

His partner’s words carve themselves   
firmly into his mind   
as he presses his warm hands   
against his own.

He resists the urge  
to intertwine them   
while the photographer nods   
in satisfaction.

_Just like Re:vale._

He knew from the start  
that they were like a mirror to them   
but whether or not that was the same   
behind closed doors   
was for them to know   
and no one else to find out.

The sound of crunching

It was light,   
but he stood near enough   
to hear it ringing in his ears.

He had noticed it before,   
but this was the first time he did it during a job.

Tamaki was nervous.  
Tamaki was rarely ever nervous.

He moves his pinky slightly   
and curls it around his partner’s own.

 _It’s okay. I’m right beside you.  
_A reassuring gesture   
full of quiet understanding

Because in this room   
full of all these people,   
there was only them.

* * *

Relationships are about compromise, aren’t they?  
At least, according to the books he read.

Secret kisses are borderline,

So they settle for laced fingers,   
and hugs that are a second longer   
each time they are given   
a moment of privacy.

That’s how it’s always been.

But it’s not enough. 

The memory of those dreams   
and the scent of sugar on his breath  
overwrites his rationality  
with the thought of being in his arms  
or Tamaki being in his own.

And then,   
someone finally brings it up,   
but to his greatest fear,   
it wasn’t his other half.

* * *

_I think you should talk to him.  
_ _The two of you have been acting strange._

It seemed that almost everyone noticed,   
but only Yamato was willing to bring it up.

Too many glances   
filled with words   
left unsaid

Too many candies   
lining the cupboards   
and strange fixation   
with the ends of spoons

Even though they looked okay,   
felt fine,   
and acted the same as always

He knew that something was off.

Yamato is kind   
despite his denial,   
but did he have the courage   
to tell him the truth?  
It’s because he’s so kind  
that he doesn’t ask him to.

Instead, he pats his head   
and smiles slightly   
as he tells him that it’s okay   
to be a little selfish.

 _It’s okay to ask for more  
_ _than you already have._

* * *

April 4th  
The day before their anniversary

And as fate would have it,  
they were off for the next few days.

_It’s okay to be a little selfish._

He smiles   
as he repeats those words   
like a mantra.

 _We’ll take a trip  
_ _for just the two of us_

He tells the others   
that it was gift from the staff   
and even though it was a lie   
they pretend to believe him.

One day they’ll tell them everything,   
but for now,   
they wanted this for themselves.

* * *

On the empty train   
making its way to their destination,   
he leans against his partner’s shoulder   
and rests his eyes for a moment.

He could feel a warm hand enveloping his own   
as they squeeze it gently   
and turn to face the view passing them by.

It’s kind of funny.  
Despite how rough around the edges he is,   
he always treats him so well

Is that what it means to love someone?  
To want to treasure them   
with every fiber of your being?

When they arrive at their destination,   
he makes sure to spoil him   
much to his surprise,   
but at the same time,   
Tamaki never failed   
to do the same.

From the outdoor lives,   
to the cafes,   
to the museums,  
and to the planetariums,   
beneath their disguises   
they were smiling,   
but the finale has yet to come.

 _Make a wish,_ he says   
as they watch the glittering stars.

_Then I want you to do it again._

The other man finds himself   
at a loss for words   
as he is dragged back inside   
and pulled onto the bed.

 _It was you all along, wasn’t it?  
_ _So I want you to do it again._

He could feel Tamaki’s hands grow warmer   
as he embraces him with no intention of letting go.

_Are you okay with that?_

He laughs.  
He has never been more sure in his entire life.

Make a constellation out of me.  
Mark the stars so that I can feel it,   
but at the same time,   
just lightly enough   
for the morning sun to hide them again.

Send shock waves through my veins   
and static against the surface of my skin.  
Leave behind a mark   
that will always remind me of you,   
and I promise that I will do the same.

You don’t need to curb the urge anymore   
because I will always be here.

* * *

April 5th. 12:00AM

From the bed,  
he could see the moon’s light  
spilling onto the floor  
casting shadows against the furniture around them

And by his side,  
he could feel his partner  
snoring softly  
with his arms  
gently wrapped around him

He presses his lips  
against his bare chest  
and quietly whispers  
gentle words of affection  
against his beating heart

 _Happy anniversary, Tamaki-kun.  
_ _I love you._

He wasn't sure if he was just sleep talking  
or whispering his honest reply  
but within the silence of the night  
he could hear him.

 _Happy anniversary, Souchan.  
_ _I love you too._

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is more of a poem than a fic, a lot of what happens is implied so you can take a guess what actually happens before midnight ;) Also this wasn't included because I didn't know how to fit this in and keep the same format, but Iori was suffering from embarrassment when he saw Sougo the next day after his talk with Tamaki, Mitsuki was concerned that Tamaki might need to see a dentist (He's fine though. He takes proper care of his teeth), Nagi just gave them both "the look", and Riku had no idea what was going on at all LOL


End file.
